Thursday, October 30, 2008

NYT Plans Obama Victory Party

New York Times Executive Editor Bill Keller has begun preparations for an election night Obama victory party at the venerated newspaper's headquarters. "It's gonna be, like, a totally awesome night, ya know?" Keller said. Columnist Frank Rich is in charge of procuring music and has already signed up his favorite band, the Pet Shop Boys. Maureen Dowd, as chair of the entertainment committee, has hired the Chippendales dancers. She made her choice after exhaustive research with each member of the dance team in her private office. Master of Ceremonies Bob Herbert will be using the same material he used in 2004 for the Kerry victory party. Debutante David Brooks is expected to make a splash in his new, exclusive Vera Wang gown. He will be escorted by Mr. Kathleen Parker. Bill Kristol's invitation was accidentally shredded. Jayson Blair, in his first visit back to the NYT offices since being fired for plaigirism, will be providing the blow. In the unlikely event of a McCain victory, the NYT has seven reporters covering the prevalence of racism in America. The stories have already been written.

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