Mexico City, MX – Mexican lawmakers today proposed a 700 mile border fence to keep Americans from illegally entering the country. Recent economic conditions in the US have sent tens of thousands of Americans over the border seeking employment.
Home Depots in Guadalajara and Tijuana reported shiny, pale objects on the periphery of their parking lots - later determined to be illegal Caucasians looking for work.
Mary Consuela, a futbol mom from a suburb of Cancun was quick to endorse the fence. “They come to work to support their families in America – I understand that,” said Consuela. “But they drive our highways without insurance, sleep 9 people in a studio apartment and are mostly employed under-the-table to avoid taxes. What happens when they need health care or other services? It comes out of my pocket.”
Small protests have popped-up across the country as people waving American flags demanded amnesty. Those without bribe money were taken into the desert and shot by authorities.
A group calling itself “The Conquistadors” has begun patrolling the border area. When asked for comment, a man identifying himself as their leader said something in Spanish.
Legislators representing states adjacent to the US were careful to balance their constituents’ needs with the inevitability of a Caucasian voting presence in the very near future.
“These guys need to follow the process that’s in place for legal immigration,” commented Hector Vasquez who owns a small elementary school and Chicklet distribution franchise in Puerto Vallarta. “We can’t just grant them all citizenship because the problem has become too big. That’s just stupid.”
No Caucasians could be reached for comment because their phones wouldn’t accept incoming calls.
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