It was announced today that President-elect Barack Obama's image will be sculpted on Mt. Rushmore. The action is historic as Obama is the first black president. It is also historic as Obama has not yet even been sworn in as president. In order to make room for Obama's image, which will be twice as large as the other presidents, Thomas Jefferson and Theodore Roosevelt will be removed. After careful surveying, it was decided that George Washington and Abraham Lincoln would also be removed so as to accommodate Obama's ears.
In other news . . .
*Obama has appointed Joaquín Guzmán Loera as his Drug Czar. Mr. Loera will be making personal, nightly visits to Obama in his private chambers.
*Soon after Obama was elected, it was discovered that dissent is no longer the highest form of patriotism, or at least won't be after noon on January 20, 2009. Please adjust your views accordingly.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
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