Study: Meth Has Benefits

In a stunning new study, researchers claim that meth, a highly addictive drug that has ruined countless lives, actually has many benefits. Among the positive effects include the ability to clean your rent-subsidized apartment in record time, weight loss, and the cost savings of never having a reason to visit a dentist. The study was conducted among three groups: truck drivers, heavy metal roadies, and white, 18-27 year old, high school dropouts in Gresham, Oregon. The study was funded by the Arellano Felix organization, a self described outreach group based in Tijuana. They currently have several openings for community organizers.