Washington DC - Congress announced early Thursday morning that the multiple bailout deals inked over the last month were in trouble, and need to be rescued. Legislators began working on a package to buy-out the bailout shortly thereafter.
Senator Barack Obabma - the more conservative of the two presidential candidates - blasted the deal as reckless. His opponent John McCain quickly suspended his campaign and promised not to return until the US was owned entirely by China.
"In this economy, what we really need are jobs," stuttered McCain through a sheath of strained carrots. McCain's plan calls for 20,000 new jobs operating presses to keep up with the demand to manufacture money.
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