Putin Announces New Policies, Mustache

In news unrelated to the Russian attack on Georgia, Prime Minister Vladimir Putin has announced several new policies he will pursue. Among other plans, Putin is enacting his economic policy known as the Five-Year Plan, as well as pushing collective farming. Opponents of the plan will be allowed to take part in a exciting new venture known as the Great Purge. Putin also announced he will be growing a large mustache and invading Poland in conjunction with German Chancellor Angela Merkel.