BREAKING: AIKEN GAY!!!!!

The entertainment world was stunned today when former American Idol singer and current ballerina Clay Aiken revealed he was a homosexual.  The revelations sent shockwaves through Los Angeles, New York, and the hearts of overweight, middle aged, lonely women, all of whom were still reeling from the shocking gay admissions from Neil Patrick Harris, Lance Bass, and Rosie O'Donnell.  Spokesmen for the Backstreet Boys and Tom Cruise could not be reached for comment.