Saturday, January 14, 2012

Man At Bar Ready To Fight For Woman He Just Met

Local plumber Harold Scrottle announced to patrons of the Beaver Tavern that he would be willing to fight anyone for the love of his life, Delores Regina Raybull, only moments after meeting her for the first time.  Scrottle, who had been drinking beer since noon, stumbled outside for a cigarette, nearly running into the 34 year old Ms. Raybull.  Immediately smitten, he told her that he was a plumber, and then asked if she knew what they say about those employed in the field of plumbing.  When she replied no, he answered, "We like to rock out with our caulk out."  While the comment was intended as a way to seduce the much younger, much fitter Raybull, it had the opposite effect, as she quickly inhaled her cigarette in order to avoid any more interaction with Mr. Scrottle.  As she tossed her cigarette into the ashtray, she faked a laugh and smile, before saying, "Well, I better get back to my boyfriend.  He is a body builder and very jealous and loves to fight."  Mr. Scrottle interpreted this as a flirtatious invitation to continue in his attempts to woo her.  He is currently recovering at a local hospital.
Mr. Scrottle, moments before the incident with Ms. Raybull's boyfriend.

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